01.02.43: THE BREAKAWAY intelligence
organisation, the Paramilitary CIA, believes that it has solved not one, but all, of the conspiracy
theories of the late 20th century.
The world is reacting cautiously to an agency disclosure that the assassinations of Marilyn Monroe
(1962), John F Kennedy (1963), his brother Robert Kennedy (1968), Martin Luther King (1968) and John
Lennon (1980) were all carried out by the same man. Or at least, they claim, by the same being.
Those the PCIA would happily have dismissed as 'crackpots' and 'paranoiacs' are rubbing their
hands at the claim that these murders were committed by a being whose existence the American
adminstration has always strenuously denied.
The murderous trail, says the PCIA, leads back to 1947, when a UFO crashed in the New Mexico
desert near the Roswell air base. There were enough unexplained facts to suppose that the then US
government lied to keep information secret.
It seems that US officials recovered only one alien body from the crashed spaceship, though
evidence suggested that the craft carried two. The second alien, said the PCIA, apparently fell in
with a renegade outfit of right-wing vigilantes hiding out in vast caves beneath the Nevada desert.
Donny Delillo, the PCIA's spokesman, says: 'The alien was indoctrinated and tutored in the art of
killing. Its mission was to divest America of what the vigilantes thought were rabid left-wing
influences.'
According to PCIA documents, the renegade Roswell alien was captured in a sting operation known as
'the Gulf war'.
Doctor André Geiger, a ufologist, said: 'From total denial to all-embracing confession
sounds awfully suspicious to me - I think I'll stick with believing they are all a bunch of
liars.' DJ
